


Shower Confessions

by QueenEgg



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Han Solo Lives, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo misses his grandpas helmet, replaces it with something a little less creepy, rey is not amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 03:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6837964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenEgg/pseuds/QueenEgg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'd let you use the sonic shower, Kid, but Wookie fur, water, and drains really don't mix." </p><p>Or, Rey is upset at Ren's ignorance of California water-usage-reduction ordinances and Chewie is not allowed to use water to bathe on the Falcon. Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shower Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> I showed my friend [This Post](http://black-tea-and-cream.tumblr.com/post/144283876215/) and because of a few things they said to me ( namely, the idea that Kylo Ren of all people would own a Darth Vader showerhead) I just HAD to write a fanfic about it. 
> 
> So here is my first ever fanfic on this site. I wrote it in 2 hours and it's basically a joke but I hope you all get a kick out of it anyways. Enjoy!

Growing up on Jakku meant that Rey was a stranger to an abundance of water. Every last bit had to be saved and rationed lest she go without and risk severely dehydrating herself while scavenging. Showers were a luxury she'd never had access to.

Only Plutt's best scavengers had been given the rights to use Niima's water reserves for bathing; the rest of them had to make do with whatever hygienic materials were available. So when she made the decision to stick with Han Solo and his motley crew of himself, a wookie, and his newly redeemed son (Kylo? Ben? The name situation was confusing), she had to unlearn the basic survival skill of preserving water for as long as possible.

Han had been very generous in his agreement with her, but if she was being honest, she'd never expected the Falcon's water-based bathing facilities to be part of the deal. Before she had even accepted his job offer, she had always believed that a sonic shower would be the most likely method of obtaining cleanliness on the ship. When she confronted her new employer/mentor on the subject, he had a very simple reason for it.

"I'd let you use the sonic shower, Kid, but Wookie fur, water, and drains really don't mix."

She couldn't argue with that logic.

It didn't make taking water showers less uncomfortable though.

Still, she was thankful to have a place to sleep, eat, and bathe on the Millenium Falcon, even if it was less efficient than she would've liked.

Of course, after what she had just witnessed, she might have to rethink her declination of Luke's offer to train her as a jedi.

_2 Hours Ago~_

Rey, Kylo, and Chewie had just returned to the Falcon after a reconnaissance mission involving a hidden First Order base, way too many stormtroopers, and one of the Knights of Ren, on a planet that was decidedly _70% mud_.

This meant that all of them were thoroughly covered in the now rapidly drying substance, as well as a myriad of cuts and scrapes obtained in their hasty getaway from the now decimated base.

Han Solo's first order of business upon the return of his crew had been to tell them that they smelled "Worse than a Rathtar's breath" before ordering them off to get clean. In a rare moment of selflessness, Rey let Kylo (or was it Ben? She really couldn't tell with the man) have use of the 'fresher first. He'd agreed, but not before looking mildly surprised at her offering.

The two weren't at odds most of the time, but anyone could tell that the two were not friendly by conventional terms. However, after being chased over a mile and a half through the dirt and rain by stormtroopers and their irate Knight of Ren leader, Rey was much too tired to care.

That changed after about forty-five minutes of waiting for Ben (Kylo? Ugh) to get _out of the kriffin 'fresher so help her maker_.

Maybe she really wasn't cut out to be a jedi, because the rage that filled her exhausted and mud-caked body at the time would have definitely been considered dark sider material. Darth Vader would have been proud.

After nearly an hour of waiting for Ren (a much safer option than Ben or Kylo) to finish cleaning himself off, Rey had finally had enough.

Storming through the Falcon, she was glad she didn't have a lightsaber in her hand. If she had, she may not have been able to hold herself back from emulating one of Ren's impressive outbursts. Said outbursts had nothing on Rey's anger at the moment, as she stomped closer to the water based 'fresher with murder emanating from every pore on her body that _wasn't_ covered in dried mud.

The closer she got to the 'fresher, the clearer she could hear Ren ... _talking to someone_?

As she approached the door, her irritation was replaced with curiosity. Who could he be talking to _inside the 'fresher_? This question was answered when she was close enough to press her ear against the door of the 'fresher.

"...do Grandfather? She's so frustrating and she never listens to anything I have to," _Bang_. "...say."

Rey knew that Kylo used to frequently converse with his long dead jedi-to-sith-to-jedi grandfather, Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader's, helmet. However, that did not explain why he was currently trying to speak to said grandfather in the _refresher_ of all places.

Eventually, curiosity overcame any previous inhibitions or common sense involving Ben Solo or his dead ancestors and Rey opened the door to find...

...Ren crouching with his hands over his head beneath twin streams of water pouring out of a shower head shaped like _Darth Vader's helmet_.

The dual streams were gushing out of the spaces where Darth Vader's visual receptors would have been placed, and Ren, apparently too preoccupied with confessing his frustrations to notice Rey, was wasting what _little water_ they had on the ship.

Suddenly her anger was back, tenfold. If she thought she was mad before, now she had enough pure energy to power Starkiller Base if she wanted to.

 _"What are you doing!?"_ At this rate, not only would there not be enough water for her to have a chance to wash all the gunk off herself, but they wouldn't have enough to last them until they got back to D'Qar to restock their supplies.

Ren, startled by her entrance, stood up quickly, giving Rey an eyeful of ... _everything_. Despite her earlier assumptions, he had muscle. He was lean and toned and _was that an eight pack_? 

The two of them gaped at each other for a few moments before the yelling started.

"Rey!? W-why! _You're not supposed to be in here!!_ " He hastily grabbed his discarded cloak off the floor and pulled it over himself; Vader's tears continuing to pour over his body, soaking the cloak as well.

After the shock had worn off, Rey was decidedly unimpressed. "You're wasting precious water for what? So you can complain about me to your grandfather's mask while he cries all over your naked body?"

Ren began spluttering as Rey started to leave. "Rey no it isn't like that! Rey, wait! _It's not weird! REY!_ " The door shut behind her as she moved back to the middle of the Falcon so she could lie on the seats surrounding the dejarik table and wait for Ren to be done confessing his sins to his sobbing grandparent.

Han walked by a few minutes later carrying a box of something that she really didn't want to know the contents of. Noticing her sullen pose and expression, he asked, "Whats the big disaster, Kid? Did Ben steal Vader's lightsaber from you again?"

Rey groaned and rolled over onto her stomach. "No, but he's probably wasted all the water on the ship, meaning I won't get all this," she pointed at the caked on dirt still covering half her flight suit and skin. "off until we get back to D'Qar."

Frowning, Han checked the standard time before looking in the direction of the 'fresher. "I'll have a word with him, but I should've told you beforehand that the bathing water on the ship runs on a closed-circuit recycling system. We wouldn't have enough water to last Ben this whole time if we didn't." He grinned and clapped a hand on her shoulder before grimacing and pulling away as the dirt coated his hand in a fine powder.

"I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, give me five minutes to kick him out of there so you can have a turn." He winked at her and left the room, giving Rey some time to think about just what her life had become after leaving Jakku.

_Present Time~_

After finally getting the chance to cleanse herself of everything that had somehow managed to attach to her body during their short raid on the First Order, Rey encountered Kylo in the galley whilst restyling her buns. The two made eye-contact and Rey could see him struggling not to open up and blurt out an explanation for why he was trying to beg for advice from his grandvader in the 'fresher for _over an hour_.

No words were spoken as Rey finished styling her hair and the scavenger and ex-knight parted ways with an aura of discomfort between them that was so thick you could have cut it with a lightsaber.

All Rey could think of for the rest of the day was about how she was going to tell Finn and Poe that Ben- _kriffing_ -Solo bathed himself in Darth Vader's remorseful tears after stressful missions.

**Author's Note:**

> "My friend saw Kylo Ren taking a shower..."
> 
> "Finn, for the last time, stop."
> 
> "My friend saw Kylo Ren bathing while his granda cried tears of agony over his naked body."
> 
> "Finn, I swear on the force that I will shoot you if you don't quit it out right now."
> 
> "My friend saw Kylo R- agh! Rey it was just a joke!"


End file.
